Angela Ryan
I'm so bored. To bad I'm not any good at re-wrapping the manufacturer's plastic wrap, or else I'd be watching seasons & seasons of numerous shows I bought for others.
The Office *Jesus
Michael: David guess who I am sitting here dressed as
David: Michael I'm not going to guess, tell me or I will hang up this phone
Michael: I'll give you a hint his last name is Christ and he has the power of flight
///[wait, timothy...you actually watched it??]
Teeter: I got something from Western. You know...Taylor Lautner is going to Western.
Moi: Who is Taylor Lautner?
Teeter: The main werewolf from Twilight.
Moi: Ew Britt. He is going to go to Western?
Teeter: Yeah.
Moi: Here?
Teeter: Yeah. At Western. Here.
Both: [pause] Why would he come to Michigan?
First final is tomorrow, I've stocked up on caffeine, candy and cake. Plus I took that blue pill I found on the floor of the bathroom.
(via timothyjpoopstain)
Oh, so you found your yeast infection meds?
Actually I think it might have been one of the pills you had to take when you had vaginitis
I think it was from when Mark and I had sex in his brother’s nasty bathroom, at a party. I should have reminded him that we need to get our shots before doing something like that. But the booze spoke for us and it seemed like a great idea at the time. Not even twenty minutes later, we had sex in the park against a tree. I had numerous mosquito bites on my ass and legs. Then we tried to walk home [which took quite a while because i wanted to nap on the sidewalk] and had sex again. It was a pretty filthy night.
