"So, everybody here just missed the new years countdown because we were busy playing Super Smash Bros. I heard fireworks for a couple minutes straight without even thinking that it was time. I could be mad, but I finally beat Markus with Kirby TWICE."

Moi

"Tim Allen is a love-hate thing for me. Like- I love him in Toy Story, Jungle to Jungle and Galaxy Quest but I don’t like him in anything else. I hate him as a person. He is a typical Detroit asshole, you know the kind. The opposite goes for Mel Gibson. I hate just about every movie he is in, minus Mad Max. But he knows just the right words to say to a lady and I appreciate that."

Moi

Matsuka, Dexter

Liz, Nip/Tuck

Eddie Izzard

SpongeBob: Shark!
Shark: Hey! That's my family you're talking about!
SpongeBob: Oh, well... sea monster!
Sea Monster: You know, we sea monsters have made great strides in the fields of science and literature.

Conan O’Brien
[last show]